I take a stab at breaking down a few games from the college football world.  You are going to want to be the house on every one of these sure-fire picks. Seriously, if you can’t laugh at your team do not read further.

This Week In SEC (and the Red River Shootout)

South Carolina @ Vandy +13.5 o/u41.5, JeffersonPilot Game of the Week (SECN to Millennials), Noon, Nashville

The three Daves covering this game for Jefferson Pilot won’t even be paying attention.  Good chance of nasty weather which may deflect from the bad football.  I want to be Muschamp, greatest job security in the world.  He keeps it with wins like these.

Cocks 28 – Vandy 10

22 Texas v Oklahoma -3 o/u 73, Fox, Noon, Fairgrounds in Dallas (I think)

The shocking thing if you have watched them play is that either is ranked. Oklahoma is 0-2 in that conference of monsters for the first time since I was pimping to RKelly Down Low. And Texas is horrendous. Who knows who wins the Red River Showdown?  Texas and the over, lock it.

Texas 72 – Boomer-69

17 LSU v Mizzou +14 o/u54, JeffersonPilot, Noon, Apparently not Baton Rouge (Thanks Delta)

This SEC West showdown of Tigers…wait what’s that…oh yeah Mizzou is in the East. Forgot I sucked at geography.  Nice bounce back for LSU against mighty Vandy.  They step up bigly this week with Mizzou.  Drinkwitz is probably missing that Appy St schedule right about now.

Geaux Tigers 30 – Eastern Tigers 12

4 Florida v 21 Aggies +5 o/u58, ESPN, Noon, College Station

How many freaking Jefferson Pilot games we got this week?  Apparently, they think more folks want to see Kiffin v Saban, than the Dude Cheerleaders and Swamp Lizards. Btw, there are problems in Aggieland and it isn’t the lack of female cheerleaders. Florida’s offense is salty.

Gators 42 – Ags 14

14 Tennessee v 3 Georgia -3 o/u43, 2:30, Athens

Georgia is starting a QB I’m not going to take the time to learn and UT a QB I’m not going to take the time to look up to spell.  Both seem average but not horrible.  If you like boring 1980’s SEC football, tune-in you are in for a treat this game could be magickly dull.

UGA 3 – Ut 2…kidding UGA – 17 Rocky Top 13

Arkansas v 13 Auburn, 3:00, ESPN, Indian Burial Grounds

Arkansas took one week to make Bo Pelini look dumb and figure out the Pirate.  Now can they figure out the ever-imaginative offense of the Gus Bus?  Gus will think he is a genius again after beating his home state Hogs, which says everything.

Indian Native American (we so woke) Burial Ground 28 – Whoo Pig 14

MSU @ Kentucky -3 o/u 58, 7:30, On the Blue Grass (Not Boise)

Well the Pirate Ship ride is in full effect.  Sending thrills on its way up beating LSU and throwing people out on the way down losing at home to Arky. Kentucky has lost two they could have won. This has shoot out written all over it.

Bell Ringers 42 – Basketball Fans 41

2 Alabama @ Ole Miss +23.5, o/u 69.5, God’s Country, Oxford Mississippi

RAT POISON! Not sure why Paaawwwllll is giving Saban and the Red Elephants any more ammo. I’m pretty sure Saban has enough for the Lane Train. So, we have the GOAT Coach against the GOAT Uniform school (that’s been settled look it up).  The Rebearsharks™ give a mile of offense a game.  Fortunately for them, Bama sucks at offense and has no play makers at receiver. They have no size and speed at linebacker.  The more I think about it on this Saturday morning as an unbiased Rebel fan, I believe we can do this.  Yes, yes we can.  Hotty Freaking Toddy, Bammers!

Tide 92 – Lane Train 35 (If it’s a down pour subtract 7 from Bama, they could fumble once)