I tirelessly work on this site and podcast called Week Zero Sports, so one would think I may have pondered our namesake. Alas, as a lifetime ball-dropper, I did not. I’m sorry I forgot to ponder Week Zero. However, I may argue that if you are reading this and did not listen to last week’s podcast – we at least did that during Week 0 – you are indeed the ball-dropper. Now for my ponderings…

The Vols Are Back!

But technically so is every other D-1 team. It just seems the folks that get their corn from a jar really like to say it this time of year. Hope springs eternal for us all and a new coach always brings about new hope – a feeling Tennessee fans experience seemingly every other year. Maybe Heupel and his high-powered offense from UCF is finally what the Vols need. Formula seems to be working out well for Nebraska, so fingers crossed.

Edit: I was able to watch UT last night… They are indeed not back.

Florida Man Dan Mullen Gets Schedule Break

The Gators have 2 tough games on the schedule, possibly three, but I have my doubts about LSU – more on that later. They get Bama at home and Georgia in the Jersey Shore of the South, Jacksonville. They will lose both of those games because that’s what Dan does, lose to better teams. However, he also beats most of the teams he is supposed to beat, so I expect them to win the rest and go 10-2. I know I’m insane but that doesn’t impress me at Florida… with those resources, not to mention that weak sauce schedule. Their non-conference slate is a joke unless FSU regains a pulse under Norvel.

Down on the Bayou

So, LSU returns 22 starters. I guess that’s a positive but given the 5-5 record last year, that could be seen as a negative. I think Ed caught lightning in a bottle with the perfect mix of coaching staff and players with ‘the Joes’ – Brady and Burrow. Coach O will always have the players because he can recruit, and LSU is allowed to cheat like crazy. Since that’s all legal now, I guess that point is moot. But he needs good coaches around him to succeed, and I’m not sure he has that mix. He did hire a new “passing game coordinator” from the Brady tree in hopes of sparking that magic. Time will tell, but I am betting against it and expect a change of coaching scenery in Baton Rouge soon.

We Are All Bill Flipping Murray

Unless you are one of the fortunate few (million) that cheer for the Tide, you opened every preseason rag as well as the Coaches and AP Poll and saw the Tide at number 1…leaving you with the same feeling Phil Connors had in that annoying movie with the groundhog. And now apparently Saban is rehabilitating former NFL coaches. Bama supposedly has question marks, because eventually their people go pro, but it seems they usually answer those with decent players. I call it ‘The Bama Test’ and they take it most every year. Will Young live up to the hype? Apparently there has been some consistency concerns in camp. Same rumblings with the O-line and the WR’s. Label me and everyone on the other side skeptical. I expect them to dominate until they don’t. Even if they are struggling, they are doing it with better dudes than your team.

This is how I see it for the Tide this year: I expect their defense to be much improved and that will give their offense time to find their groove. Sorry Tide fans, you may be back to the 49-13 type dominating games instead of 62-20.

The Bus has Left the Indian Burial Grounds…

… and it was replaced by Brian Harsin. I don’t have anything snarky here, but this hire doesn’t inspire me. And if you give an Auburn fan veritas serum I would imagine they feel the same. Sure, he will win some ridiculous games with the aid of the Native American spirits residing there, but not enough to be any better than his predecessor. Sorry my Auburn friends, as long as the coach in the above-mentioned team is there, the results you got from Gus are likely the ceiling. On a positive note, you have another freak show at running back in the form of Tank Bigsby. Seriously, how did his parents know? That was amazing name foresight because he is exactly that – a tank. Seems like Auburn has always had a dude like that.

I’m Not That Guy, Georgia

But if I wanted to be the “I’m gonna be the smart guy who goes on a limb and picks against the Tide” guy, you would be my pick. I am really starting to convince myself you are a legit threat. And if the fears from the Bama nation are remotely real, maybe the dawgs can finally break through. The defense will be nasty with Dean in the middle. They have like 6, 5-star running backs and JT Daniels has been in the system for a full year to get comfortable. It’s easy to forget it was supposed to be the Wake Forrest transfer, Newman’s team and he opted out due to Covid last year. That sent Georgia scrambling a little the first few weeks. However, if history is any indicator in the “grown men who bark at other grown men” nation, they will fall just short in some heartbreaking fashion. I know several good Dawgs, well at least one, here’s hoping that’s not the case for his sake.

As if I needed One More Reason to Laugh at the Ags

There is a movie about this. It’s the one where a bully from your past shows back up in your new happy life and destroys it…I actually think it was a Tom Arnold / Rick Moranis flick. Sorry Ags you are the Little Giants here – I’m pretty proud of that pun.

I wonder how long it will take Aggie Nation to figure out Texas won’t call the shots the way they did when they ran the Big-12. On to their team. Jimbo has recruited well, and we have been told this is their year to compete… again. He’s got a super-fast QB, great back and nasty d-line, but for some reason I don’t believe. Maybe it’s because I think the gap between Bama and the rest is rather large. Or maybe it’s because Jimbo has yet to do it without King Crab Leg Jameis running the show.

Hey, I made it through a whole thought on A&M without mentioning dude cheerleaders. I’m so proud I didn’t bring up that they really take pride in the dudes in white suits. Good for me.

Choo Choo Lane Train

Yes, I am excited. Yes, I am aware it’s Ole Miss and the inevitable donkey kick to the manhood is coming at some point, in some form. Yes, at 41 you would think I would have learned my lesson, but I have fallen off the Kool-Aid wagon… again. If the Rebels can get any semblance of a defense, they will scare the shit out of people. I see one unbeatable team on the schedule. Nope… I’m not calling 11-1 – I’ve long since laid down the crack pipe – but I don’t think they walk on the field many times without a serious punchers chance. Sure A&M is a likely loss, and it’s always crazy on the Indian Burial Grounds. And going to Starkville with a new coach gets WEIRD. But we are waxing LSU this year, bank it. For the first time in a while, the Rebs are kinda dangerous. And they are seriously entertaining to watch – unless you cheer for…

“I Never Met a Man I Didn’t Like”

This is a famous quote from the Mississippi State QB Will Rogers. He has apparently never met the people that cheer for his team that ring the bells. There is nothing to like about that sir. Nothing I say. For any of my state friends reading this, yes, the baseball niceties are over. It’s hut-hut time. The last time we saw Clanga U, the Pirate was taking selfies in the stands while his team brawled with mighty Tulsa. Because Ole Miss does so much dumb shit, I really appreciate State’s proverbial “hold my beer” moments. The pirate has made State into must watch TV – you just never know what you will see. When the Pirates offense starts to click and you can’t hear yourself think in that stadium, State is going to be a tough out.

The Rest of the SEC

Kentucky – I expect them to be competitive and play for a bowl. They should build a statue for Stoops for building that type of belief in the football program in psycho basketball-ville.

South Carolina – Congrats on one of the most uninspiring hires since, well, their last hire. At least Boom was entertaining. Wait, what’s this? I have just been informed they are starting a dude at QB that came to Columbia as a Grad Assistant coach this year. This is not a joke! Apparently, he is the former backup of Trey Lance at North Dakota St. Inspiring times indeed. Gamblers take note.

Mizzou – I really have no clue. Their new coach seems quirky in a Hugh Freeze kind of way, and they seem to like him. He tries to clown with Kiffin and it comes off as a try hard. That’s all I know about Mizzou. I do have a little bit of a life.

Arkansas – They will be better and possibly finish last in the west. They better hope Wally World is learning the ins and outs of the NIL game.

Vandy – They will show up and play some football games this year to help fill out other team’s schedules. The good news, Vandy will cap attendance at 15% this year… just kidding, that’s the most they ever get. They hired one of their former fullbacks, I think, as their coach. That’s all I got. Is the soccer girl still kicking field goals?

SEC Super West

Bo Ran Over Boz

I’m not sure the relevance but that is the first thing that came to mind when I thought of Oklahoma joining the SEC. A play that happened in the NFL between the greatest athlete to ever live and dude who was no longer allowed to juice. I still think Boz was awesome, his book was hilarious. With that said throw the SEC bravado out. I’m telling you, the boys from Norman will be able to hold their own when they get here next year. They won’t dominate like they have the old Southwest, but they aren’t going to be fun for anyone, however the matchups are going to be outstanding. Yes… I said next year.

Hook’Em

Sark is talked about in the same light as Kiffin when it comes to offense. We will see if he can finally keep it together as the head man in charge. He has all the resources in the world and now the best conference as a recruiting tool. Texas, much like Bama, is always one hire from being a serious power. Ditto on the matchups, who isn’t pumped to add these guys to the schedule.

Peace, Love and Football – All Jokes Aside

Man, this year has sucked. There has been so much ugly in so many ways, there’s no need to rehash all that here – go to Facebook it’s all there. I’m sorry for all of those who have lost this year, this insanity has touched us all in some way. I know the impact of this past year will be felt for many, by many. But here we are, another football season arrives like clockwork, and I’m reminded of not just football but a lot of things in life that actually bring us together. Things that makes us love, smile and laugh. And through a dark year I hope we were all able to find some time in it all to do those things with those we care about. Being a Rebel fan forces you to always have hope or look for a for a better next. Well, here’s hoping we all find more of those good moments and maybe a better next. Enjoy the season!