Week Zero Sports Podcast

I don’t want to stare a gift horse in the mouth, given we are even getting football, but this slate of games suck. We don’t even have a Jefferson Pilot SEC game. Give our Podcast a listen!

This Week In the SEC

8 Florida @ 5 Georgia -3.5  o/u 54 | 3:30 E | GDWSN (Gary Danielson Won’t ShutUp Network)|Lynyrd Skynyrdville, Fla

Pettey: Mullen is sure to do something stupid and Kirby will do his best to act like Saban but come off as a douchy frat guy. Just be you Kirby, Saban is funny because it is old man crotchety. Anyhoo, on to the cocktail party. A battle of ‘best on best’ and ‘worst on worst.’ UGA offense is lame, and so is the Gator D. Georgia’s defense is nasty, but Florida can score. So, what gives? Gators get enough from their defense today. Week Zero Winner: Gators

Flerda 24 – Jawja 21

Michael: UF got an extra bye week because their Coach is a COVIDIOT. If Georgia had any kind of productive offense, I would be on the pups. But they don’t. It’s gross to watch. Week Zero Winner: Swamp Lizards

Lizards 31 – Pups 21

Vanderbilt @ Mississippi State -18  o/u 45, 3:30 E, SECN, Starkvegas

Pettey: Can someone explain why this isn’t the Jefferson Pilot game when there is none, and this can’t miss matchup is scheduled against the cocktail party. It’s as if they don’t really want people to watch these juggernauts compete. One would be insane to take a team favored by 18 that hasn’t scored that many since the first game. Well I’m nuts and Vandy sucks. State can also play defense. Also, this is the third game of my pick 3 from the podcast. I’m 2-0. My dad would roll over…C’mon Dogs! Week Zero Winner: Leghumpers

Leghumpers 49 – Vandy 7

Michael: This is not the first time I’ve said this, nor will it be the last time. Vandy is #14 in the SEC. Even with half a team, the dog farmers get it done. Week Zero Winner: Farm Dogs

Commo-don’ts 0 – CowBells 33

7 Texas A&M @ Cocks +10 | o/u 58.5 | 7:00 E | ESPN | Cocksville, SC

Pettey:  People saying A&M is the second best team in the league is an indictment on the league. The cocks are Jekyll and Hyde this year. They looked good beating Aubun and then got trashed by a bad LSU bunch. They’re at home against the Cult of Texas A&M. Give me the points. Week Zero Winner: Cocks

Dude Cheerrleaders 42 – Cocks 35

Michael: C – O – C – K – S… Cocks, cocks, cocks. That just doesn’t work as well as it does for Kentucky. Oh well, I’m going with the wieners anyway – sorry I’ve been informed ‘cocks’ is a chicken referenc.. who knew? The Aggies will be without their culty atmostphere in Columbia, and that should just enough to derail this A&M team. Week Zero Winner: Gamecocks

Cakalacky 24 – Ag&M 21

UT @ Arky +1 | o/u 52.5 | Land of Deliverance | 7:30 E | SECN

Pettey:  TENNESSEE IS BACK… from a bye week. And they get the most improved team in the country. Until Guantanamo Bay is gone Tennessee is stuck in neutral. Soooie! Week Zero Winner: Pigs

Arky 24 – Tennessee 17

Michael: I laughed out loud when I read the first sentence of Pettey’s analysis. I see a lot of national writers and pundits picking Tennessee. After all, they’re coming off a bye week and the talent differential is noticeable. To that I say, don’t be an idiot. If you’re a middle of the road SEC team, with middle of the road coaching, the pigs have your number. Pittman needs to be considered for coach of the year. I’m taking the dumbest tradition in the SEC – for real, stop wearing a creepy pig head as a hat. Week Zero Winner: Pig Heads

Pig Heads 27 – Blue Ticks 24

Other Notable Games

25 Liberty @ Va Tech -16.5 |o/u 67.5 | Noon E | ACCN | Lynchburg? Blacksburg?

Pettey:  Va Tech has the coolest intro in college football. And Hand Job Hugh is fighting for a seat back at the big boy table. This will be a good interview as h should be heavily out talented in this contest. This is fools gold, Liberty is ranked but don’t have the horses for this one. Week Zero Winner: Hokie

Va Tech 52  – Liberty, Liberty, LIBERTY (gotta sing it) 35

Michael: I’ve heard Blacksburg is devoid of Asian massage parlors, so that should be a plus for Liberty and Coach Freeze. I’m looking for Va Tech to get the win, but not as easy as they think. There’s going to be a Barn Burner in Blacksburg, and the hokies – again, wtf is a hokie – get it done. But I’m betting the insurance company covers. Week Zero Winner: Va Tech

Va Tech 44 – Libertybibberty 37

1 Clemson @ 4 Notre Dame +5 o/u 50, 7:30 E, NBC, Touchdown Jesus

Pettey: This country doesn’t agree on much however this game is an anomaly in this jacked up place. Unless you are a Catholic most agree, Notre Dame is deplorable. And Dabo has turned into the 4-year-old on the plane that won’t shut up that needs to be slapped. I don’t think they can, and can’t believe I’m typing this but… Go Domers. Week Zero Winner: Clemson

Clemson 38 – Golden Domers 30

Michael: Clemson’s backup qb has it together enough to be the most anemic offense I’ve seen in a top 10 team since Georgia this year. Clemson just has too much talent. Week Zero Winner: Tigers of Clempson

Clempson 44 – Touchdown Jesus 17