A gorilla in deep thought. This is meant to indicate that Pettey, on his good days, might be as smart as a very thoughtful gorilla.

In this column I will bring you my musings from the week that was in college football. It is SEC heavy as usual, although this coming week is rough. There weren’t many surprises if you would have read last week’s Winners column. Harbaugh reverted to the mean and we have a big showdown brewing in South Bend.

Hello World, I’m Dan Mullen and I’m a Clown

Ole Miss already knew it. A large portion of the Auburn fanbase knew it. Now that he is at a bigger school, the whole world gets to know it. I’m not going to rehash the scene of him running on the field like a madman inciting a further brawl between his Gators and visiting Mizzou, but it should be noted those antics received the same fine as Lane Kiffin’s retweet. Seems fair…

The last few weeks have just let the world know what people in several sectors already did, Mullen is an asshat. He tried to rat on Auburn over Cam, after his school got outbid. His snitching ways led to the dismissal of Bo Davis at Bama and seriously aided the NCAA in it’s investigation of Ole Miss.

In just the last few weeks he whined about wanting a super spreader event at swamp after losing to A&M, only to get COVID-19 days later. The show he put on Saturday was just the latest in a line of true character moments on display. My favorite part was the innocent, “I don’t know what happened” response from Mullen regarding the fight. This came after showing up to the press conference dressed as Darth Vader. Where the heck was his PR guy on that one.

Should we be surprised though? This acorn did fall off the Urban Myer tree.

NostraBamadamus

The week before the last I boasted in this section of missing the Bama game in my prediction’s column by one point. Well apparently, me and the Tide are pretty sympatico. Last week I claimed they would win by whatever they wanted to, to nothing. That’s exactly what happened.

What I didn’t know until my co-host pointed it out, was that was the first time the Pirate as ever been shut out. Talk about blind squirrels and nuts.

O’Chizck, You were warned!

We tried to inform you that going to the Native American Burial Grounds with the first Halloween full moon in 76 years, was pointless. LSU had zero chance in this game. There super-sized Freshman looked like a Freshman. Tank Bigsby is a manimal and Nix has played better the last few weeks. None of that was a factor. With the amount of voodoo swirling on the plains last Saturday, the Kansas City Chiefs would have left with an L.

Rebs Breaking Records

So, the Rebels continued to set records this weekend, and I’m not talking about the ones set by Matt Corral. If you paid any attention to this game, which I understandably doubt, you would know Matt Corral broke two of Eli Manning’s records this weekend. The first was consecutive completions (19) and the other was single game TD passes (6).

However, the record I speak of is that of the defense. Every team Ole Miss has faced this year has scored their season high in points for a game… even Vanderbilt. Granted they only needed 13, but that is still impressively pathetic for the Rebel defense.

Spitting Fire Around the League

I’m still not sold on Texas A&M. People saying that they are the second-best team in the conference is an indictment on the conference.

Sam Pittman was the best hire of the off-season. I just had to type that as a written form of eating crow. I laughed my ass off at this stupid hire. He beat my team, got screwed from another win and just gave A&M all they wanted. Unbelievable the work he has done.

Georgia, your offense is so painful and such a waste of talent. You better figure it out this week. The Gators can score.

Bo Pelini cashing checks, ain’t life grand!

The Other Teams that Play Football

Ol Jimmy Harbaugh, had I known that the Minnesota “Row the Boat” defense would make any offense look good, I would not have been so kind last week. I dumbly gave the benefit of the doubt because for some crazy reason I really like P.J. Fleck at Minnesota.

I wonder how the SEC cheating cost Harbaugh that game against a very unathletic Michigan State bunch this weekend? Harbaugh has lived off past performance more than anyone in the history of sports. I’m not a “what have you done for me lately” guy, but at some point, you have to do something.

No coach in the history of fabled Michigan has lost so much to Ohio State and kept their job. Bold prediction time, he isn’t going to beat them this year either. At what point do the folks at Michigan realize their golden boy has lost whatever touch he had.

Thank you, Texas. Apparently, you rub a lot of folks the wrong way, but I am not one of them. That mullet wearing clown at OSU on the other hand does. He is the worst. And I thank you for knocking them from playoff consideration this weekend.

Clemson looked lost for a bit there without “Sunshine”. And took some second half heroics from all their 5 stars to pull out the win against mighty Boston College. This week they get to go to Notre Dame, and Sunshine will be at home.

The second most notorious place to play in college football, next to the Native American Burial Grounds of Lee County is South Bend, Indiana. I don’t think “real Jesus” cares to much about football outcomes (other than that time when he blew Mississippi States FG back on to the field to secure a Rebel victory), but touchdown Jesus has overseen his fair share of nefarious outcomes. I don’t like Notre Dame… at all, but here’s hoping the Golden Domers have some tricks up their sleeves this weekend.

There you have it. Respond in the comments. Tell me I’m an idiot that doesn’t know what I’m talking about, or that I’m the greatest sportswriter you have ever seen. Or just show it to someone, and LISTEN TO THE PODCAST!

Until next time!